Expensive Beloved Ones,
I’ve been wondering about how to update all of you on my chemotherapy treatments this summertime, which just so transpire to have fallen right smack dab in the middle of getting a Beth Millner Jewelry ambassador. For a whilst I wasn’t positive if it was the worst timing or the very best timing when I was chosen, but then I realized that this is particularly how daily life goes: you really do not get to select the timing of your life’s troubles or your opportunities. You only have command on how you select to feel about them, and how or if you determine to act upon them. For occasion, I could say that breast cancer is the worst matter or the greatest point which is occurred to me, mainly because each are real. Surgical procedures and chemo are not just matters that folks rush to signal up for, but at the identical time, that’s accurately what it took to find how several angels I have in my corner and how sort and generous and thoughtful the world can be.
Now that I’m approaching Week 8 of the 12-7 days Chemo Marathon that I under no circumstances desired to indication up for, sponsored by the club I’d in no way desired to be part of (breast most cancers), I have recognized a private reality: marathons suck. I indicate, I’m sure there is at the very least a single man or woman out there who loves jogging so considerably that they appear forward to beating the crap out of their bodies for miles and miles, and that perhaps there’s some weird runner’s euphoria I have but to faucet into, but dang! Not gonna lie, it was a lot easier at the beginning when you’re at the commencing line and there are a gazillion of your bystander peeps seeing you and cheering you on. And I’m guaranteed there will be just as several there ready for me to cross the finish line. But when you are on mile 8 of 12, and there aren’t as many people on the sidelines watching you anymore, your operating receives fairly unattractive, and so do your views.
And talking of that, there is almost nothing that’ll stir up your notions of attractiveness and ugliness very like a wonderful spherical of balding chemo. But then yet again, that is the full place of this story, a reminder that we have whole management of how we opt for to see a little something, and we can both seize an chance or allow it move us by.
I never know about you, but due to the fact I didn’t program on getting all my hair fall out a number of periods in my life, I figured now was the chance to switch a several lemons into lemonade.
It was a few months ago when I was ready to begin pulling all my hair out in clumps, quite much correct on routine, around “mile 4” in the marathon. I realized that as challenging as it was, I’d need to make peace with stating goodbye to my hair, as “unpretty” as that may make me come to feel, and I’d experienced a amazing thought that would distract me enough to get by at least the next couple of miles.
I was likely to chuckle my way by the complete issue, and I was heading to make positive that somebody else benefited from it, way too.
And that is just what I did. I went out on social media and informed all my pals that for just about every $20 they donated, that they’d get their names place in a hat for a big drawing, and that the human being whose name was drawn would get the honor of picking the structure that my Mumma would attract on the again of my bald head, at the time I’d shaved off all my hair. The proceeds ended up break up equally in between the Delta County Cancer Alliance and Wildlife Unlimited of Delta County. Collectively my angels elevated virtually $2,500 to split between two of my favorite charities!
It took me 3 haircuts this yr to get to my bald canvas. People of you who knew me six months back knew that I experienced extensive hair down to my lower back again, so my hair was a significant portion of my id. I donated the very first foot of it to Small children With Hair Decline, so that somebody else would be equipped to put on a wig that I was able to mature for them myself. I’d accomplished this as soon as in advance of and experienced made the decision that as soon as my hair reaches a certain length, I’m heading to maintain accomplishing this until I’m no lengthier around to maintain developing it. Think of all the wigs that’ll be out in the globe just after so several yrs! Will make me smile.
My second haircut occasion was likely from my shortened bob haircut size to tomboy size, which was surprisingly more difficult than going pool-cue bald. Perhaps it reminded me of the very last time I’d experienced my hair this brief in next grade, a little child mistook me for a boy, and my psyche never ever recovered. Maybe it is because I just really do not consider quick, short hair is all that flattering on me. Whatsoever the explanation, I had to energy-smile my way through that entire 7 days ahead of the real shave took put, and that gave me a clear slate in more ways than just one.
Very little states “I appreciate you” pretty like your excellent hairdresser pal agreeing to change you into a bowling ball (I’ve been informed I have a properly round head) and your 75-calendar year-outdated mother agreeing to draw one thing on the back of your head for charity. And that is just what they did. The gal whose identify experienced been drawn wanted a hummingbird and a pink breast most cancers ribbon in the design, and contemplating that the canvas was moveable skin included in a light stubble, I imagine my mom seriously kicked ass on the concluded item!
It is been two months working close to my corner of the world with no hair, and the section I have not pointed out until eventually now, mainly because I’ve been too fast paced pretending that staying bald is a comprehensive hoot and a hilarious adventure, is that oh boy, there are days when I truly feel sooooooo hideous. I have put a several pics of my new design out on social media, and many people have commented on how stunning I search. But I don’t seriously believe that them. I’m convinced that they are saying it just to make me sense far better, for the reason that, you know, Mile 8. The part wherever I’m “ugly running” and individuals do not have time to sit there on the sidelines and cheer me on every single next of the working day mainly because they have their have life to are living.
I understood without having a question that I’d have ugly times all over this marathon. The factor is, even when you know there will be struggles uphill, often you really do not see them coming until eventually you are suitable smack dab in the center of a single. And all you can do is acknowledge the hill, suck it up, buttercup, and maintain plodding since faster or afterwards the floor will be stage all over again.
The beauty I’ve been capable to choose with me on this marathon due to the fact the starting is my Beth Millner parts. Irrespective of whether I’ve had extended hair or brief hair or no hair, they’ve been with me for the total marathon, like a talisman preserving me from feeling unsightly or from emotion like a comprehensive failure. They remind me of so lots of lifestyle classes I want to understand this time close to. When I head into every single chemo mile marker, I have bought a various perform of art accompanying me. Just one week it is my bumblebee pedant, reminding me to keep occupied and to keep relocating. The upcoming it could possibly be my coronary heart pendant, reminding me of all the really like and assistance I’m having with me into every single of these periods. A different is my butterfly collection, symbolizing the alterations that I’m heading via. Probably I’m feeling unattractive at this phase of my journey simply because that’s how it is intended to go, like how the caterpillar may possibly sense before it cocoons. But glimpse at how I’ll be remodeled at the conclude of this marathon!
I’m wanting forward to sharing with you my end line, my transformation, and my story as it carries on to unfold. I have always mentioned that my function is to guide this kind of an abnormal and fascinating everyday living so that I’ll have really very good tales to inform when I’m 100 decades outdated in the nursing house, and boy, is this 12 months ever creating! Thank you, my angels and cheerleaders, for positioning yourselves along my marathon route and rooting for me.
Coincidentally, up coming 7 days you could literally cheer me on, if you are in the Escanaba-Gladstone region. My partner Todd and godson Noah and I are all “competing” in the MISH mini-triathlon on August 27. Noah will be performing the 3-mile kayak part, I will be biking 13.5 miles, and Todd will be working the 5k finale. I’m not certain I’ll be breaking any information for velocity on Saturday, but you can most assuredly rely on me not getting a quitter.
Let us go, Workforce G!
Be pleased, be perfectly.
Kris G